Monday, January 19, 2009

Reasons I hate my car (continued from last spring's blog)

I have a new fun story to add on to my hate for my car. First, I will copy and paste my previous blog about this situation posted on my myspace page April 16th, 2008:

reasons why I hate my car...
...and subsequently life.
So I complained for years upon years that I didn't have a car waah waah waah, although not enough to actually do anything about it until a year ago when I purchased the most pimp '97 cherry red mercury mystique. I know you're jealous... you're wondering how I beat off the droves of man who attack my car when I'm looking "oh so fly" as I cruise around sf. It's a rough life, but I figured walking everywhere, especially in sub-zero temperatures that sodak does get in the winter was no longer an option. I have paid roughly $200 so far on my car, thanks to my 0% interest financer (thanks madre) that's the bill that's given the least priority month to month, especially with the recent job change. Anyways, the little "quirks" it has developed over the past year have only added to its "charm" and "appeal." Until now. I officially hate it. And want to trade it in for a shiny new bicycle, because, let's be honest, I still hate to drive.

1. My radio randomly shorts out. Typically it's not a big deal, turn the radio off and back on and presto change-o it works. Other times, it stops working for the full drive to work. Utterly annoying.

2. To make matters worse my once bent antennae is now busted off completely, leaving me with 4 radio stations to listen to when my radio isn't busy shorting out. The thing that really chaps my behind is that I'm fairly certain that someone intentionally busted it off. Don't playa hate... I'm sure you can find your very own mystique-ness for real real cheap.

3. My windshield wiper fluid doesn't work. AND YES, I did refill it so it's not out. Or I should say my boyfriend refilled it b/c I don't deal with cars. So every time it snowed then melted (roughly 97 times this winter) I had crap splattered on my windows and had to make at least one stop at the gas station to clean my windows. Really time efficient, I promise.

4. Also, my left windshield has decided to not work as nicely as it used to. In addition to not working properly, it also emits a screech much like that of a pterodactyl with every swipe. Enough to make you nutty in the pouring rain, I promise you.

5. Another fun quirk is the incessant vibrations and shaking while idling. We'll compare it to an out of control vibrator for extra fun. Not that I'd know, I'm merely presuming. No...really. By the time you get to where you're going, you still feel like you're shaking uncontrollably and your hands look like you have Parkinson's.

6. Now the big kahuna and final straw. When I first got the car, the lady I (meaning my mother until she gets the rest of her $$) bought it from mentioned that the driver door stuck from time to time and showed me the proper (ghetto) procedure for opening it: press ever so gently on the window while lifting. Works every time. Winter comes and I don't even need the fabulous window-pressing trick. AMAZING. As spring is upon us, I've learned that the bitch won't budge unless it's 30 below. No matter how sweetly I caress that stupid window, it just laughs at me and stays put. Imagine how awesome I look leaving meetings with very important clients black suit, heels, briefcase, etc. Going up to the passenger side of my car, crawling across to open my door, and walking around. Now if that doesn't say, "please buy from me. I'm too poor to afford to fix my g.d. broken door," I don't know what does.

Since last spring, I am happy to report that none of the aforementioned car issues have been repaired. However, I do have some new issues to report. If you are familiar with the Midwest, then you are aware of the bitter bitter cold we had last week. We're talking -20 withOUT the windchill. Highs of -1. Ridiculi (plural for ridiculous). So of course, even though I desperately, desperately need gas, I put it off. Keep in mind that my car has a tendency to not start when it's cold, my lovely lovely boyfriend starts it for me at 5am every morning before he goes to work and lets it run for a bit before he leaves. Thus making sure I don't need a jump before he takes off and leaves me stranded. Say it with me now, what a sweetheart. Unfortunately, that's also throwing my very limited quantities of gas down the pooper. Finally, Thursday hits and I'm concerned that I won't be able to make it to work without getting gas, but still I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Thursday after work--this is it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to brave the cold -3 probably, because it's better to be cold then to have your car run out of gas on 41st street at 5pm.

I stop at the closest gas station to my place of employment get out and flip the little gas lid thingy. Walk to the other side of my car. Nothing. Now I should've mentioned this before, but some time ago my gas lid lever thingy stopped working. However, I discovered that I could lift it (which you're supposed to do if you want the trunk to open) and then press to open the lid, and it works. I return to my side of the car and repeat this 10-12 times. I walk to the other side of the car. Still not open. I push on it. Tap it. Swear at it. Repeat. 5 times. Finally I get pissed and leave. Still convinced I'm going to run out of gas before I make it home.

I call Taylor to see if he has any good remedies. He says he will come right over after class and help me out. My savior. I bum a ride to the gym with my buddy Matty, and we swap some ideas for unsticking what is clearly stuck. I arrive home from the gym to find Taylor already at my apartment. I run inside and ask if he's ready to help me out. "I got your gas lid open...." says Taylor, "...but now it won't shut...." "So you broke it?" " just won't shut."

I go outside to investigate and indeed it is broken, although he was correct in saying that it was open. Forever. Because I'm sure it'll cost $30 to fix a stupid little latch, and it took me 2 months to commit to spending $60 on a dining room table. Probably not going to happen. I'm thinking of investing in some clear packing tape I can just leave in the car to re-tape after each refueling.

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