It all came to a head on Thursday night when I went out for a run. I ran for about 2-3 minutes before I got a shooting pain in the back of my knee. I turned around and headed for home. Frustrated beyond belief. I know I'm a runner who's prone to injury. I try to train so so so smart. I have been spending so much time on my foam roller, I'm sure Kyle is getting jealous. I'm icing and stretching, and I was frustrated, to say the least.
I decided I didn't want to run on Friday. Friday night after a couple of "congrats on your new job!" beers with some co-workers, I decided I was fed up. I sent a couple of "woe is me" emails to Jenn and Jason (uhh thanks again for listening to me whiiiiiiiiine) about my new plan.
Screw the marathon.
To say that I was overwhelmed, is an understatement.
I felt burnt out from marathon training... already.
I felt like there weren't enough hours in the day to work, be a star student, and train for a marathon.
I was scared that I was going to put in this much time and effort and could still possibly fail or get hurt and not make my goal.
After ranting and raving via multiple email exchanges, I decided I would give myself a couple of weeks to make a decision, and I would take as many rest days as I needed to get my mojo back. Once I reviewed my training program, I realized I was on week 6 of consecutive mileage increases. I was only in week 3 of marathon training, but I had forgot I was building up my mileage leading up to training. Mama needs a cutback week!
I also realized that with my work and school schedule being as packed as they are, I need to stop trying to switch around my running schedule. I'd been sleeping in Monday mornings instead of doing my runs, forcing me to try to "fit in" 6-10 miles elsewhere in my schedule. Attention Jeri: you created this schedule with every little factor in mind, please abide by it.
When I get overwhelmed, I shut down. And I realize now, after taking some time to reflect on it, that's what I did. I couldn't shut down on school or work or Kyle (ok, I probably tried with Kyle, and then he pretended to be a pug, and I laughed and snapped out of it, we're weird like that), but I could shut down running.
Monday I was sorta coming out of my funk when we had the most beautiful day ever. I had planned to take it off, and likely Tuesday as well, but I thought... why not? And magically my sparkle running pants are back.
I adjusted my schedule slightly so my mileage this week isn't too much, and I should be back on track. Just a minor derailment. This week has been great. Seven miles Monday, 3.5 in between work and class on Tuesday, 7 Wednesday night, and a crazy speedy 3.5 tonight in between work and class. I no longer feel overwhelmed and I'm glad I got this "freak out" out of the way early on in training. I have a long way to go, but I plan to do whatever is necessary to make sure I'm prepared (and that I don't lose my sanity in the process).
It always helps to remind myself that I don't have to run, I get to.