Thursday, July 14, 2011

Confessions of a Runner

I have a confession that some of you may not know.  And it's a bit of a dirty one.  Ok.... here it is:

I hate to shower.

Gahhhhhhhh, I know.  I'm a runner, what's wrong with me?!?!?  Now before you go labeling me the "smelly kid in class," rest assured that while I hate showering, it doesn't mean that I don't shower.  For me, it really boils down to the fact that I hate spending time getting ready.  I can shower at night and my hair will still be wet in the morning, hence why I don a braid to work 5/5 days per week.

And really.... I don't mind being dirty/sweaty/somewhat smelly as long as there's no one around to witness it.  Kind of the "if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around, does it make a sound?" effect.  In my opinion, obviously....nope!  Heaven help me if I should ever become a recluse ala J.D. Salinger.... :/

My showering schedule revolves around two things:  my running and being around the public.  But because of my hatred for showering, I will do my damndest to not shower twice in a day.  Seriously.  I consider it a personal failure.  Poor planning.  Waste of my time.  And most of the time I do pretty good with my no two-a-day shower plan.

Well this summer I've been failing miserably.  See.... I've been running on the weekends, obviously, and then heading out to the waterpark in the afternoon to drink back my long run calories.  Naturally being all sweaty for the second time that day requires a second shower.  But in these instances, the good far outweighs the bad.  So I deal.

Today was no different.  After being holed up with the flu the past 2 1/2 days, I was itching for a run before work.  I went out on an easy 4 mile run.  Not altogether shocked that my legs felt like crap and I felt like I was breathing through a straw thanks to the 98% humidity.  Yes, 98% humidity.  Kill me now.

I did 4 miles in 39:22 for a pace of 9:51.

I showered up and went off to work.  While sitting at my desk counting down until I was done working, I realized, "Crap! I'm going to have to shower AGAIN tonight!"  There's no way I'm waking up early for work, so clearly a nighttime shower was in order.  Had to pacify reason #2 for showering:  the public.  Can't be the smelly kid at work.

But then I thought to myself.... well.... since you have to shower anyways..... why not head out for run #2 too?


That's a delightful idea.

Yeah, I wanted to get in some of the mileage I missed when I was on my deathbed, but really, I wanted to justify my second shower of the day.  And I did.

3 miles 27:17 for a pace of 9:05.  4x100m strides (6:37, 6:14, not sure, garmin messed up and says :37.... I doubt it....hah..., 5:41)

Thank God the  humidity was out in full force to really make that second shower worthwhile.

Now someone please tell me a secret equal to or more gross than mine. :)


Generation X (Slomohusky) said...

mine is equal. i not only understand - i live what you are saying. much to the chagrin of my wife and family.

btw - do you hate showering so much you don't bother with shower curtains?

Lizzy said...

Haha this is awesome. I don't hate showering but I do hate washing my hair and I have a strict no wash unless I sweat...or run. Great job on the doubles. Glad you are feeling better!

krittabug said...

We are the same person.

Operation Jack said...

If I go to the gym after work, and I don't get excessively sweaty, and my wife doesn't tell me to take a shower, I don't either. There, that's my dirty secret. That's all you're getting, though!

..:danielle:.. said...

as if we needed another "twinzies" thing... really, who needs to shower if youre not around other people? i always smell like roses and sunshine anyway, so im sure youre the same. ill go out for a run... come home... do some yard work... make some food... oh look at that, im not sweating anymore! so then i head out to run errands.
gross, but true.

kimi said...

i also hate to shower... however i can get away with being a little more lax because i work from home. but even with regular showering i still only wash my hair 1-2 times a week.

Amy - the gazelle said...

I am also fairly anti-shower, and on Tuesday when I had to shower twice, I was very sad. Fortunately, since I'd showered Tuesday night, I didn't have to shower pre-work on Wednesday, and since I worked from home yesterday, no shower then, either! WIN! And total make-up for the double-shower Tuesday.

We're all a bunch of dirty people!

Trying To Heal said...

right there with ya chicka. shower is the bane of my existence. HATE IT! i like the comparison with the tree falling in the forest...but i can't use that anymore...freak'n have a roommate so i feel bad if i stink around her. haha!

J said...

Hilarious! i am the total opposite - I hate hate hate being sweaty! I love feeling clean and always try to run in the morning so i can shower and feel clean all day.

Glenn Jones said...

Ha ha ha! I play a lot of poker in casinos. I have stories about personal hygiene that would curdle your blood. It does mine!

Nicole @ "Haute Runner" said...

I hate showering for the same reason! Why can't I be a wash and go kinda girl?

I don't get how people can workout and not shower after. I am a disgusting, sweaty mess that is not appropriate for the public if I don't.

I laughed that you justified a 2nd run because you had to shower anyway!