A Destination Race Oversight

This past weekend I traveled to Green Bay WI to run the Cellcom Green Bay half marathon.  In case you haven't heard, the race was called off early because of the heat.  While I finished before the cut off (race report to come soon), you may all understand that I have a bit of a "sweating problem" (read that in the Chris Farley air quote manner, plz).  Well that "sweating problem" is exasperated by the extreme heat and humidity.

Being the smart packer I am, I retired my used running gear to my gear check bag post-race so my none running clothes wouldn't get sweaty/stinky because of close approximation.  To say they were drenched would be an understatement.  However, being the un-smart (or just overly tired traveler by the time I got home) I forgot to REMOVE THE CLOTHES FROM SAID BAG.  Those suckers have been left to marinate in there for approximately 56 hours.... and marinate they did.  I just started unpacking my suitcase and almost died.

And thus ends story time with Jerbear.


(trust me, you don't want anymore of a close up than this. also, I changed in to this shirt, and still sweated through it because I was that hot..... be jealous...)

No Shirt, No Shoes (jk), No Death By Sweat

I'm not a very self-conscious girl when it comes to my body.  When I was younger and incredibly skinny, I was super insecure, oddly enough.  I gained more confidence when I was heavier, and have kind of settled in to my happy place recognizing what my body is capable (running... for what feels like forever).  And yeah, it probably doesn't hurt that running keeps me at my happy weight for the most part.  I can sit at the swim up bar for hours in my bikini with no problem.

However, ask me to log a few miles in a sports bra sans shirt and I'll cower in the corner.  What gives?  I'm not quite sure.  Everything just seems to look a lot better when it's not all in motion, ya know?  Last summer I went shirtless for one run when it was 12003459834 degrees with 1708345% humidity.  I knew I couldn't handle one more run in that crap drowning in my clothes and the air.  I swear some girls gave me an evil look, and I never went without again.

This year I've been talking about it for at least a month.  I've done a decent job sticking to my core work, partially for this reason (christ...vain much? don't do core work because it might make you...uh.... faster... idiot).  

Well last Monday it was a nice 80 degrees with 80% humidity (seems to be the norm 80-80 not sure why) and after dealing with a death march of a long run Sunday I said screw it.  I threw on my running hat for incognito sake and did my 5 miles.  And it didn't kill me.  A lot of walkers wouldn't even make eye contact to smile/wave/say hi to me, probably because they were uncomfortable, but runners didn't bat an eyelash.  AND I WAS SO FREAKIN' COOL.  zomg it was amazing.  When I got done running my stomach was cool to the touch, because my internal cooling system was able to do its job when it didn't have fabric in the way.  Your body sweats to cool you off.... duh.  

So for the rest of the summer, I'm not going to give two poos about a few snobby judgmental stares because I'm 88% less of a sweatmonster.  WIN!

But in the meantime.........

Dear God, 

Please send me Susan's abs by my next long run.

Thanks.

Jerbear

Confessions of a Runner

I have a confession that some of you may not know.  And it's a bit of a dirty one.  Ok.... here it is:

I hate to shower.

Gahhhhhhhh, I know.  I'm a runner, what's wrong with me?!?!?  Now before you go labeling me the "smelly kid in class," rest assured that while I hate showering, it doesn't mean that I don't shower.  For me, it really boils down to the fact that I hate spending time getting ready.  I can shower at night and my hair will still be wet in the morning, hence why I don a braid to work 5/5 days per week.

And really.... I don't mind being dirty/sweaty/somewhat smelly as long as there's no one around to witness it.  Kind of the "if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around, does it make a sound?" effect.  In my opinion, obviously....nope!  Heaven help me if I should ever become a recluse ala J.D. Salinger.... :/

My showering schedule revolves around two things:  my running and being around the public.  But because of my hatred for showering, I will do my damndest to not shower twice in a day.  Seriously.  I consider it a personal failure.  Poor planning.  Waste of my time.  And most of the time I do pretty good with my no two-a-day shower plan.

Well this summer I've been failing miserably.  See.... I've been running on the weekends, obviously, and then heading out to the waterpark in the afternoon to drink back my long run calories.  Naturally being all sweaty for the second time that day requires a second shower.  But in these instances, the good far outweighs the bad.  So I deal.

Today was no different.  After being holed up with the flu the past 2 1/2 days, I was itching for a run before work.  I went out on an easy 4 mile run.  Not altogether shocked that my legs felt like crap and I felt like I was breathing through a straw thanks to the 98% humidity.  Yes, 98% humidity.  Kill me now.

I did 4 miles in 39:22 for a pace of 9:51.

I showered up and went off to work.  While sitting at my desk counting down until I was done working, I realized, "Crap! I'm going to have to shower AGAIN tonight!"  There's no way I'm waking up early for work, so clearly a nighttime shower was in order.  Had to pacify reason #2 for showering:  the public.  Can't be the smelly kid at work.

But then I thought to myself.... well.... since you have to shower anyways..... why not head out for run #2 too?

Well...

That's a delightful idea.

Yeah, I wanted to get in some of the mileage I missed when I was on my deathbed, but really, I wanted to justify my second shower of the day.  And I did.

3 miles 27:17 for a pace of 9:05.  4x100m strides (6:37, 6:14, not sure, garmin messed up and says :37.... I doubt it....hah..., 5:41)

Thank God the  humidity was out in full force to really make that second shower worthwhile.

Now someone please tell me a secret equal to or more gross than mine. :)

Celebrity Status+Sweatfest

The other day while my office ex-hubby and I were scouring the Mankato Marathon site looking for a course profile map for the half course working diligently, a picture of the race start popped up on the site.  All cockily I stated, yeah that's totally me.  And as soon as the little word bubble was floating above my heads with the words in it I realized... huh... that really is me.

ZOMG I'M FAMOUZZZ!

YAYZIES!

GLITTERFARTS!

Ok, totally not, but it made my day for 6 seconds (ok, clearly longer since this happened days ago.  Whatevs.)

(Red pacer shirt, white hat towards the left on the picture.)

Sunday I was supposed to run a 6 mile tempo run.  However, my Garmin has been acting up, and by the time I rolled out of bed, the humidty was at 96%.  Barf.  I decided to do next week's 800m repeat workout instead, and hit the gym, so the treadmill could keep track of my time and distance for me.

I had 4x800m in 3:30-3:40.  After my warm up mile (and thoroughly soaking the treadmill in the process... this oughta be a FUN run... :/), I got after it.  The first one felt *cough* easy *cough*.  I decided to take less of a break in between to toughen up the run.  Er... not necessary.  #2 was tough, but #3 felt like death.  Towards the end I decided I would just call it a day if I could survive the remaining 30 seconds.  When I did survive, I told myself I could walk until my heart rate came down after #3, and then jog the rest of my recovery before I had to start #4.  Of course #4 felt great, even with the speed bumped up a bit.  Silly body.  Second to last is ALWAYS the worst.

3:38, 3:38, 3:38, 3:36.

Probably a good thing I was on the treadmill.  I think #3 would've been 6:30 minutes if I had a choice in the matter.

And just so you don't think I'm kidding about the sweatfest that took place, I was 3 lbs. lighter post-run.  And that's with drinking a 16 oz. water bottle while/after running.  Sweatiest gym-goer of the day goes to:

JERBEAR!

Final Speedy Run

I feel like all of my posts have started with "final" the past week or so.  Random note:  In high school, I was totally *that* girl.  Senior year, "last" first day of school, "last" time we'd eat chili crispitos at lunch (my fave), "last" prom, "last" track practice, etc.  I'm sure my friends were happy to be rid of me after a year full of "lasts."  Well surely you guys are equally as sick of my "final(s)" and are just ready for me to run the damn MARATHON!!  (You're all probably quite sick of that too, huh?)  Confession:  I am too!  Race day I'm ready for you.

Anyway, tonight I had my "final" tough run before the big day.  [Make sure you read big day with a loud booming voice to get the full effect.]  It was actually scheduled for later in the week, but I figured my legs would love me if I got it out of the way early on.  I was scheduled to do 6 miles with 4 at a tempo pace of 8:35.  Since there is currently a monsoon going on outside (what?  you didn't know we get monsoons in SoDak?  homie check yo-self! <----omg, I literally laughed outloud at the voice I used when writing *that* line.  Taper madness anyone???), I decided to hit up the gym.

As soon as I got to the gym it was packed.  Apparently everyone else is too big of pussies to work out in the monsoon too.  Of course that means that every treadmill is full as well.  I hang out by the wall, Star magazine in hand (that I borrowed from the rack, I don't buy that garbage, but I'll sure as heck read it if someone else has, guilty!), pseudo stretching, but ready to sprint to an open treadmill throwing 'bows to any passerbys if necessary.  As soon as one opens up I pounce.

I quickly clamored up onto the treadmill and was hit with a wave of sweaty humid air.  When did they put this treadmill in a sauna?  That seems silly.  And then I saw it......the buckets of sweat pouring off of the machine, collecting on the ledge of the monitoring and pooling together in the cup holder.  I shuddered.  And then it hit me, "THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE THINK WHEN THEY GET ON THE TREADMILL AFTER ME!!!!"  Holy epiphany.  I apologize profusely to anyone who has hopped aboard the tready after my sweat-sacre (<--sweat+massacre, ya, I just made it up).  And then I realized it was only sweat and that it couldn't hurt me, and why not see if our combined efforts could contribute to the sweatiest treadmill in the history of the world!  Also, I may have briefly thought that Mr. Sweat could possibly be my soul mate, but that's perhaps for another blog post.

Unfortunately, my run wasn't nearly as exciting as the shenanigans leading up to it.  The warm up mile hurt my knees so I increased the speed a smidge and upped the incline.  Perfect.  The tempo miles felt comfortable and strong.  And I caught up on some awesome celeb gossip in the final cooldown mile.

I did 6 miles in 53:08 for a pace of 8:52.  Tempo pace = 8:30.

1. 9:31
2. 8:26
3. 8:33
4. 8:34
5. 8:27
6. 9:34

Unfortunately, I did not have my best sweaty performance.  Yes, I was soaked, but there have been many other occasions where I've truly outdid myself.  I think our stars will align again at the gym, and then history will be made.

And just to let you in on what I've been obsessing over since May 1st (that would mean 15 days out from the race day).  And if you have guessed checking the weather report you would be CORRECT!  I've gone from hating it, loving it, being ok with it, loving it, liking it, disliking it, and currently loathing it.  It is the midwest, so I'm counting on it changing at least 14 more times before race day.  I hope anyway.  What am I going to do?  Put rocks in my pockets to keep from blowing away?!?!?!?!?  Give me a break. One of my buddies had a very clever facebook status update the other day that I just crack up over every time I think of it:  Wind blows.  Bahahahhahaah.  But seriously, wind, I'll kill you.  Don't think I'm kidding.

There are seriously a thousand sweet giveaways going on, and I'm hoping to continue my lucky streak.  Check them out!

sticky fingerprints giveaway 
Julie's 1st sweet giveaway
Fashion Meets Food Pantene/$25 Walmart gift certificate 

Btw, anyone know of any anti-wind dances?  I could use some fun effective x-training ideas for the next 6 days.....

I Love 16 Miles

After a pleasant evening in being a Twihard and culinary goddess, I was more than ready for my 16 miler.  I woke up incredibly early to eat a breakfast that would hold me over and then...just...chilled.  It was a brisk morning out, and I was determined to wait until the weather was to my liking.  Not like I had big Saturday plans anyway. :p  But seriously.....


Finally 11:30am hit and I was out the door in *literally* the most beautiful weather evah.  Low to mid 50's.  Sunny but cool and slightly breezy but not windy.  Pure bliss.  Since I've been focusing on my pace more than I would like to during my LRs I decided I would let this one be whatever my legs wanted it to be.  No pushing.  No reigning.  Just finding out what my comfortable 16 mile pace is.


The first few miles were...uh....fast.  I figured the worst that would happen is that I would crash and burn the latter half of the run, which is fine.  Only a 16 miler, right?  I took a GU at 3.5 miles and realized around this point that the water fountains were turned on.  HALLELUJAH!  Too bad I didn't know this before I left my place with handheld in...well...my hand...obvs.  I thought about hiding it in a bush/tree, but knew how PISSED I would be if someone jacked it, so I kept holding on to it.  I also took drags out of it ~every mile vs. gulp fulls every 3-4 miles like normal.  That was nice knowing I didn't have to ration my water.


1. 9:23
2. 9:13
3. 9:17
4. 9:13


Around the 6 mile point I saw what appeared to be a large festival of sorts.  At first I thought, oooh!  A race.  But then I saw a dock in the river...with no boats.  And kids dressed up like cavemen.  I still have no idea what was going on down there, but it sure was entertaining.  At mile 8 ish I stopped to refill my water and use the facilities at a cafe at the Falls.  I also took my 2nd and last GU.

5. 9:19
6. 9:24
7. 9:17
8. 9:13


I really don't remember too terribly much about the run, to be honest.  It was one of those runs where you're in such a zone mentally that the minutes and miles are passing by without much thought from you.  I did do a lot of race goal planning complete with pace times and what they computed out to in finish times.  What can I say?  Math keeps my mind occupied.  Also, mile 9 was uphill and it wasn't fun.


9. 9:26
10. 9:15
11. 9:15
12. 9:14


The last 4 miles were uh...fast....as well.  I kept thinking to myself, wow, if my legs feel like this on race day I will be so. stinkin'. happy.  I think I will shoot for a 9:10-9:20 pace for the first 20 miles and then if I have something (dear God please ANYTHING) left in the tank for the last 10k I'll see if I can pick up the pace at all.  This distance is just mind boggling to me, because I typically only race 5ks and half marathons.  5k = run as fast as you can for 22-25 minutes.  Half marathon = run hard for 10 miles than run as fast as you can for 25 minutes.  Marathon = don't die.  Have fun strategizing that one.  I guess you just don't know how your body is going to respond, especially on your first one.  Definitely fun to imagine it on your LRs though.

13. 9:09
14. 9:20
15. 9:17
16. 8:26

I finished the 16 miles in 2:27:48 for a pace of 9:15.  Yeah, 16 miles is *easily* my new fave long run distance.  Enough to kick some butt, but doesn't psych me out mentally.  Conveniently my other fave training run distance is 10 miles.  I won't be running a marathon in less than a month (EEK!) I'll be rocking a 16 miler and a 10 miler.  And perhaps tack on a little .2 just for s&g.

When I got home I was shocked at how salty I was.  I will be honest (and have been many times before) I am a sweaty sweaty girl.  Sweat is sexy, whatever.  I am also a very salty runner.  Case in point, when I first started running, could not understand why I would crave dominoes cheesy bread, green olives, tortilla chips, etc. the Mondays after my LRs.  Well now looking back on that, uh duh.  Whenever I'm done running I always wash my face before I stretch because it hurts from all the salt built up on it.  Usually, however, I can only feel it's crusty awesomeness, but Saturday, I could see it in all its glory.  Of course I decided to document this for you all to be disgusted by as well.

Also, I just recently realized (like Saturday) that I have a very pointy nose.  Please no mean comments. :(

Be impressed, unlike my face which is sooooo over the salt. :p

And apparently the flash is too potent for you to see the salt patches on my neck, but they're pretty nast there as well.

Also wanted to show you how I've even managed to get little tan lines from the slats (slats?) of my Garmin.  That's impressive kids.  [Also check out my sweet ink!]

And the obligatory post LR garmin tan line shot with Polly Sunshine as a backdrop.

I'm seriously drowning....

...in my own sweat. YUCK! I will be honest, I am a sweaty person. I blame my parents, they both sweat at the drop of a hat, and I'm no different. I've always been the sweatiest person on the basketball court or volleyball court, and for sure the sweatiest runner. I was once told that you sweat more the better shape you're in. If that's the case, I'm in TIP TOP SHAPE. All of my grey tee's are put away during the summer because it's just not cute to pit out if you're a girl. :(

With that being said, I could literally wring out my shirt after my run today, and almost half of the run was done INSIDE. Whoa is me, seriously. It was pretty similar weather as yesterday, mid-60's with 97% humidity. I think sweat droplets formed as I was stretching outside. Ick. Today was 8 x 400 at mile pace. Again I decided to run to my gym as my "warm-up." I'm secretly obsessed with my weekly/monthly mileage so it's nice to get in another 2.75 miles on these "sprint" days. The run to the gym was 1.37 miles in 17:45. Although I think the Garmin was off. It "lost satellite" for a minute while I was running under an overpass, and my first mile ended up being an 8 mm split, which was not the case. Probably closer to 9mm I'd imagine. Or slower even.

When I got to the gym I was SWEATY. I got some stretching in and hopped on the treadmill.
2 @ 1:42 (6:48 pace)
2 @ 1:41 (6:44 pace)
1 @ 1:40 (6:40 pace)
1 @ 1:39 (6:36 pace)
1 @ 1:38 (6:32 pace)
1 @ 1:36 (6:24 pace)
For an average pace of 6:40. In between each quarter, I walked .1 and to de-sweat. Ha. I did mess up on #7 by only running .2, so I ran .3 on #8 (at a faster speed, ugh). But I'm too lazy to calculate that out, so I took the easy way.

My legs were tired. But I still needed to get home. I headed home on the bike trail since it was light enough (it's too dark, in my opinion, to run them on the way there) and felt like I was crawling. It was miserable. 1.38 miles in 12:29.

When I got home I looked in the mirror and had to laugh. I had some serious raccoon eyes. I used a new mascara yesterday, and it must not have washed off all the way last night! I'm hoping it ran on my run home from the gym, but I'm guessing I looked like a fool AT the gym when everyone was wondering why I put on eye make up for the gym. WHOOPS. Oh well. I had to laugh. :)

For my post-run breakfast, I made my first ever green monster. It was delish. I've made some protein smoothies in the past (frozen strawberries & banana, ice, a splash of vanilla soy milk, and 1/2 scoop of protein powder) but this was my first with a healthy heaping handful of spinach. It was delish. Honestly, it tastes the same as the ones without. Plus it was my favorite color. :) Too bad I was running too late to snatch a picture. I could use a nice photo to break up this monotonous text (which apparently is a pet peeve of some, who knew!!) :)

I love me some speed work, but I swear I'm always starving for the rest of the day. Keep your fingers crossed for no storms so I can watch some men's softball, and for goodness sake humidity, go away!!

P.S. If you haven't seen Taken you totally should. We watched it last night and it was AWESOME!