Wednesday, April 20, 2011

How I Almost Got Abducted by a Posse of Rapid Raccoons

Tuesday I hit the trails for a nice and easy 6 miler.  It was rainy and cold and windy and I was kind of hating life for the first mile or so.  But then I apparently went on auto-pilot as I started to think race strategy for Saturday's race (EEP!  SATURDAY!).  I got so in to my head that I didn't realize I had gone further than I had intended. 

On my way back towards my apartment, I saw a big fluffy kitty near the old folks' apartments. 
"Kitty!" I cried out.  When it didn't respond, I tried a different approach, "Meow?"  (Yes, I speak cat, this should come as no surprise.... now if only I could learn to speak deer.....) To which it stopped and looked in my direction.  I thought to myself "Hmmmm why is Kitty wearing a mask?" as I ran closer to it.  Shortly there after my eyes focused on the critter to realize it was actually a raccoon.... in the daylight.  AHHHHH RABID RACCOON RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

And I did.

Seriously.  My easy 9:50s pace quickly turned in to 9's as I hightailed it away from this critter that wanted nothing more to consume my blood (rabies causes animals to become vampiric, no?).  Upon rounding the corner, I see yet another raccoon waiting for me.

HOLY CRAP RABID RACCOON #1 CALLED IN BACK UP.  THEY'RE SURROUNDING ME. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

And I sprinted the last quarter of a mile home.

Apparently I need to learn to speak raccoon asap.

11 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh my word, I couldnt even imagine!

Shawn said...

Damn bandits eh!!!!

cheaperthantherapy.me said...

I got chased by a mother goose on Sunday. In full view of a major highway. When they're protecting their eggs, they don't f*** around.

Nobel4Lit said...

My goodness, I've never been close to raccoons before... musta been terrifying!

One month til Fargo!!

Dwayne said...

Wow, THAT was funny! "Meow?" You just got a for-real LOL on that one.

Maria said...

My fav line in your post "Hmmmm why is Kitty wearing a mask?" ...he's getting ready for Halloween of course.

Anywho... There are crazy swimming (yeah, did you know they can swim?) raccoons in Central Park! I've encountered them on multiple occasions and they scare the crap outta me.

simplyrunningonfaith said...

I cannot believe that I'm about to admit to this, but a fellow teacher on my staff calls me "Raccoon girl" because I swear I ALWAYS SEE THEM wherever I go!!

Dom and Trey said...

Okay, I was impressed with you before, but now this is over the top. You speak cat? You've got some serious talent.

So, you have a race coming up this weekend and then you have Fargo in about a month. Cool. Best of luck!

-dom

Lisa said...

Glad you're okay! I think my favorite feature of this post is that you refer to the as rapid and rabid raccoons. I suppose it's likely they were both!

Glenn Jones said...

LOL! I live in the big city where all the raccoons do is steal the cat's food....

Courtney said...

hahaha. cute post! in texas...we have those craycrayyy raccoons...ohh && those super scary things called armadillos...they chase too!